Today was the last day of volunteering and it broke my heart. I’ve been doing this for just a couple of weeks and I felt like I had already belonged. The feeling of comfort and confidence has been a scarcity. And now I am leaving again. My abrupt departure actually surprised them and I was truly touched when they told me that they’ve enjoyed my company and had given their time to lend their advice. Its funny; two months ago I was socially anxious whenever I spoke to strangers and now I can actually hold a conversation without actually tripping over my words. During our orientation, the director of our department had told us that it was totally ok to have social anxiety while working in the museum and somehow I felt like I was in a safe place.
Things I should do often: check up on old friends and dont over-think that they’ll find me as an inconvenience. I’ve a got an old friend who I rarely text and when we do, we often respond to each other after days, weeks even months ( I guess texting isnt our thing hhaha, I for one am a novice texter) He called me the other night and we discussed about the good and bad in our lives. And when we bid farewell to eachother, he said I love you, and I ecstatically said the same thing and said goodbye. Its such a nice thing to hear and to know that someone who sincerely cares and is willingly to be my friend and love me. I’m so thankful to have a friend like him.
Sometimes I wish people would be considerate. Just for one moment please be patient and take the time to listen.
2 weeks l left ahhhhhhhhhhhh. I’m getting cold feet….
Ahhhhh I dont want to leave my city anymore. I feel like I shoulda just went to school here. But no my heart was set on leaving home…I didnt think about the quality of academics, future connections, better opportunities. And on top of that I want to have a future career at the museum I am currently volunteering at. Cryingggggggggggggggggg.
I’m 23 tomorrow. These past few years have been the most loneliest and cathartic. Though there are so much that I still need to learn and improve. My birthday wish is that I hope to become more open and more loving towards people. I need to shed the unhealthy cynicism. I’m ready to be happy.
ASMR x skyrim = heaven
I just realized that Ive wasted so much time being afraid of never being capable for anything. And now I’m taking the first step to my future career. I hope that this will follow through if it doesnt its alright its going to be a great experience.