I’ve been there more than three times and I have manic depression too. I can tell you one thing: You’re gonna make it through. It seems insurmountable like a scary, humongous ocean that you can never swim through but guess what? You will. Get up and clean your room right now. It sounds strange when a manic depressive person is told to clean and arrange their room in a clean order but I believe in this, I always tell people with the same condition that your room reflects your inner state. Control your room. Fix your bed, fix the curtains, take the dust off things. Then take a shower. Comb your hair. Stretch your limbs. Drink water.
Now take your notes, your material near a window if it’s daytime. Take a pencil and a few pages for taking down special notes, key points, etc. Keep a 1L bottle of water near you. Hydrate after every 30 minutes. Remember when I say this: Stay by the window, stay under the sunlight. Do not get up until you’ve covered a chapter. Once a chapter’s done, take a 30 minute break.
Get up. Go walk. Eat something light. Eat a fruit. Do not go near any kind of social media. It sucks you in. Wash your face. See if your room is in order. Sometimes things slip around; don’t let them. You’re the boss here.
Go back to the window. Next lesson. Take your points down on those papers I told you to get. Make boxes for points, draw parallels if needed, you can doodle your points down too. Make two stacks: One stack of The Shit I’ve Conquered and the second stack of The Shit I Will Conquer.
If it’s not daytime, let’s go near a lamp. Same method. Remember 30 minute breaks are very important after 2 hour study trips. I used to study 11 hours a day for fun and I only did it because I saw it as a challenge and I wanted to destroy it by learning it all. And I did.
But you have to set your environment straight. Your room is your environment during your studying. This is your terrain and you have to keep it in order for you to be able to focus on other things.
Manic depression throws you off balance and it is painful being there, I know this. I’ve been in that agony too and there are times I still find myself there but what I know is: Little changes make huge differences. Make a list of lessons you need to prepare by time X. Got it prepared? Great. Didn’t prepare it? No sweat, you can shift it to the next study session.
Sometimes you have to be tough on yourself and sometimes you have to be gentle on yourself. The key is balance. Manic depression, like I said, makes balance very difficult but with consistent effort, you can bring what belongs to you, your very own equilibrium.
I know you can do it.